"Words cannot explain..."

I am officially a college girl! The last of the Ferreters to go off into the world to make a dent in society.
Words cannot explain how happy i am. All the waiting and all the "stress" that i had to go threw to get all the work done. WOW!
So here is the story:
I was just bored reading all day (today i had off from school) so i decided to go hang out in my room and just surf the net. And i had this feeling that i needed to check my e-mail, so i did. And i saw that i had an e-mail from BYU's admissions office. I didn't know what to think, because Melanie Crane had said that they make you go threw like four links before they tell you that you are accepted or not. So i have to say Dad was the first to find out. (Sorry guys!)
I have to say that this long process was REALLY worth all the stress and everything! I don't know what i would do if i had not made my mind up that i wanted to go to [the] I(daho).

With all words said, I am still excited!

From Old Blog (July 18, 2006)

I know i know.... it might get old but here it is....

"Today (July 18) i went to my voice lessons and i get to listen to my teacher tell me how good my voice was.
And then i was asked to be in the festival. The festival is the concert where i am supposed to sing in front of hundreds of people. And i am supposed to sing at least one song but i think i am going to sing more than one, maybe three; Who knows. I have a good voice so called, but i don't think so, so many people think that i have the gift but i don't think so.
but you know me i am a pessimistic. that is the way i am. I don't know why i am always half empty. I feel like i could be something better.

Through the years i have wondered and pondered if what my sisters have said to me over the years, were true. It almost made me feel unwanted and as though i didn't fit in the family. I have wondered that for years. And even though they did it jokingly, as they say, i took it to heart. I was so different from each and everyone of my siblings. I loved them so much, and i didn't know how to show it because each one treated me differently. Soon i just drifted from sharing my feelings from everyone, even my parents and now i am in a bad relationship with them. And i don't want to be in that kind of relationship with my parents. I want, WANT, to be the child that goes to their parent when they need help, but i don't know any way to talk to them. There is at least thirty-five years difference between my parents and I. I was born last for a reason, and i am going to find it sooner or later. Though i don't know what i am supposed to do in life i am going to try to become the best person i know. For some of you that know me really, really well that is hard for me.
Well a tribute to all those who have helped me through the years. Thanks and much love and gratitude is given from me to you."


I know today i can say that i am in a good relationship with my parents and i love them dearly. ^_^ BUT i think it still stand that i am adopted (that is what i was trying to get at.... ^^^^ if you couldn't tell, I was a bit slow a couple of years ago.... he he). My parents have never told me other wise. SO guys GUESS WHAT!

I am ADOPTED! :(



Added:
This Just in Breaking News (11:37pm), My Father commented and said that i am not adopted. But he said that he had to pay big "bucks" to get me out of the hospital. :)

From Old Blog (June 22, 2006)

This is From My other blog.... i just wanted to move it over here.... so i could delete the old one....
But i hope you like it
(its a poem if you can't tell)

"Of all the Beauty"

I look up into the stars,

Into the black void above,

And I miss you.

I climb over mountains and cross through valleys

Through nature’s ancient foundation,

And I miss you.

I walk through forests and pass through fields,

And I see their seasons of life

And I miss you.

I walk through the storm, drift through the snow

And stand in the rain

And I miss you.

I watch the sunrise and the sunset

Watching fire and hope rise with the day

And I miss you.

I see the clouds assemble, viewing them across the horizon,

And watch heaven’s rays singing songs of angels

And I miss you.

And now I’ve seen beauty

The wonders of the sky,

And the ages of the earth

The tenderness of the land

And the seasons of it’s life.

I’ve seen the stillness of the snow,

Felt the chill of the mist

The gentle of the rain,

The peace of the storm

And I’ve witness the rising of the sun with joy,

And the setting of the sun with fire,

And the mercies poor out from heaven!

And it is beautiful to me..

But I miss you,

And I miss you,

And I miss you

Just one more...
Just FYI there is no relation to any "guy" i just liked how the words flowed

When I talked to you last night
I learned about your grief & pain
I learned the story of your life
and how you have changed

I tell you to go see people
When I want you to stay here
I tell you to have a good time
when in my heart I fear...

That your gonna find someone else
Someone crazy, someone new
I'm afraid that before to long
I'm gonna lose You

I believe that we are sent here
To find someone who
We can spend forever with
And I believe that some one is you

When I talk to you
I want to tell you
But it's so hard to do

So I wrote this thing
To tell you I long
To be with you

And I want you to know
No matter where I go
There will always be a place for you
In-My-Heart

Sitting Pigeon

Today, TODAY! I have turned in the rest of my application, and is ready to be looked over. So as of now i am a "sitting "pigeon"".
I heard that the process takes forever. So it could take months! AND months!!!

I have turned in everything, including college and for high school!
*High school -- Had to fill out a booklet for the early completion and turned it in about two weeks ago. AND YAY!
*College -- Now i just need to get accepted and then i will be on my way to being an "adult".

And then my dad is going to "miss" me. Yes, yes. The missing stages are coming. BUT supposedly i am going to get married my first term into college! HA!! I would have to be dating someone for that to happen. Oh Woe is me..... i can almost hear the weeding bells.... (metaphorically) ......NOT! I am not ready to get married. Gosh guys, i am even of legal age. WOW. I feel bad for the guy that would marry me though. He would have to put up with everything that i do....